Where Do I Go

Oh god, it’s cold; I need new gloves these things are getting old.

Maybe if I keep walking my toes won’t freeze, I’ll just walk until I get there to avoid this rigid breeze.

I can’t wait to find some heat, my fingers have gone numb, I should have prepared boy I’m dumb.

I’ll just stop thinking about it, maybe if I think warm thoughts; I'll warm up a bit.  I’m in Florida walking on the beach, I fall in the sand, when I bend to reach, I’m trying to reach to pick up the beautiful sand I just want to feel its tiny grains in the palm of my hand.

That warm sun feels good on my face, kinda like the feel of hand woven lace.

I continue my journey to where I must go; I should walk faster, I moving much to slow.

Almost there just a little bit more before I know it I’ll be knocking at the door.  The cold returns, my face has become white, the fantasy is over I held on to it with all my might, Just a little further, then I stop and I think, where do I go, my bed last night was just a pile of snow.

Postmarked

I stumbled into the post office lugging this heavy box; 

I kicked it and pushed it as the line moved. 

I peered at the clock and it was 10 to 5 and I was next in line. 

The clerk yelled next and I bent my knees to lift this heavy box and place it on
her counter-top. 

She said to me that box looks heavy what’s inside? 

I opened the flaps to kill her curiosities. 

I pulled out my purity he stole when he assured me he loved me. 

The lonely nights I endured following the 4 phone calls I didn’t get
the next day. 

Oh yeah, the abortion he forced me to get because the other woman he claimed wasn’t his wife. 

I showed her the STD that got cured but left me scarred. 

So I cannot produce life passed my own. 

But the heaviest item was still left inside the box, shame and disappointment wouldn’t allow me to bare it all to her. 

Those curious eyes peered all the way to my soul so I lifted the two sheets of paper marked HIV positive. 

The flood gates opened and the tears began to fall from us both and silence fell across our space. 

That is until I looked up and into her face and her red painted lips parted to ask, where is this box going? 

And I replied, I give it all to God! 

She postmarked this heavy box with our father name and as she lifted it to place it in the outgoing been I said to her; by the way mark that heavy box fragile!